The Breakfast Club.  Kirk is Molly Ringwald.

This is one of Kirk’s favorite movies.  Ever.  He says it totally captures his high school experience.  Both Jesus and I just roll our eyes. “What?  It does!”  So which one were you, I ask him but I already know what he’s goona say.  “I’m Bender, man.  The Judd Nelson character.”  I knew it.  Kirk is so predictable.

But Jesus wasn’t buying it.  “No way you’re Bender.  The wrestler, Emilio’s character, that I see or better yet…Claire.  Yes, you’re Molly Ringwald!”  Kirk just sat there.  He was stunned. Not a lot of people can talk to Kirk that way but Jesus can.

Poor Kirk.  I didn’t know if he was gonna punch Jesus right on his beard or what.  But after a moment, Kirk got up and says, “You’re right.  That’s exactly who I am.  I AM Claire.”

That Jesus, he knows people.  It’s weird but he just gets you.  One moment you think you’re the rebel dude that no one wants to fuck with but old Jesus just looks you straight in the eye and tells you are the spoiled little red-headed chick with pouty lips! And suddenly you know it’s true and so does everybody else.  He is that good.

That’s when Kirk started to dance.  I’ve seen Kirk TRY to dance more than a dozen times.  Not pretty.  But tonight, something’s different.  And just for a second—between a kick and a spin—I’ll be damned if Kirk didn’t look like a slightly less-manish version of Molly Ringwald herself.  It was something, I tell you.