Rambo IV.

Rambo!  This is one of my favorite movie franchises ever.  I know, I know, you’re thinking: Vinnie you’re such a sensitive artist, how could you like a shoot’em up blood-fest like Rambo?  Well, I am nothing if not complicated. Okay, so maybe he’s little bit juiced up in this one but I’m guessing he’s near sixty, right?  Give Stallone a break.

Kirk kept ribbing Jesus that he had Rambo hair.  It’s true, get rid of the flowing robes, strap on a few bandoleers of bullets and a headband and you’ve got the same guy, right?  Jesus didn’t think it was too funny. He can be touchy like that.

Then Kirk kept pointing out all the moments where he could see Stallone’s stunt double.  Stuff like that can really take you out of a movie.  I’m telling you, Kirk can be such a dick sometimes.  Finally, Jesus shut him up when he reminded him that there was no way he did his own stunts on T J Hooker.  Jesus knew a lot about TV; it’d surprise you.

If you notice, Jesus is always standing up.  At first, that really weirded me out.  I mean, how many people do you know who watch TV standing up?  Not many I bet.  But when I asked him about it, he said, “I’m not made for sitting down.”  And it’s true.  Think about it, every picture you’ve ever seen of the dude (and there’s a lot of them—every week it seems the guy is suddenly appearing on a chulupa or something) there is not one, not ONE, where he’s sitting down.  It’s weird, right?  I mean, what’s wrong with a nice pastoral painting of Jesus sitting on some park bench feeding the pigeons?  Poor guy has to die for all of our sins AND has to watch TV standing up!  Doesn’t seem fair.  Now I feel bad about all the Rambo hair cracks.